Last Day of Quarter End.....

The day has finally come...

Tomorrow will be the last day in Q2 closure day where it's the final opportunity for us to revenue any backlog orders we have in the sales pipeline. Since last week, the pressure cooker has start cooking and both me and colleague (also my partner in crime) had went thru a very tough day at work. Daily review meeting with country MD and his sales folks, periodic updates on numbers and tons of data crunching.

Man.....it is REALLY tough handling questions from people of that level. I would considered myself lucky because personally I felt that they are being tolerance with my inexperience and lack of knowledge performance. Well, all I could do is to try my best and do what I can. Perhaps that is what holding thm back from pressing more out from me....

Frankly, I can't wait for tomorrow to be over. Then I could finally rest in a more peaceful manner. It has been a while since the last time I put myself thru this enormous stress. I know tomorrow ill be very tough but what motivates me is the fact that, I have less than 24 hours of pain and the following day would be a public holiday.... Woo..hoo....can't wait...

It's almost 12AM now and my eyes are so heavy. I took actifed for my nose block and I think the medicine's effect is slowly hitting me. My mind are completely blank (not pretty sure how to construct a proper sentences now....) and my body feel so tired....

I know I have not started to describe what causes my frustration and stress. I think I have to do that other time. Ok folks.... Good night for now.......

Pray for a smooth flowing day for my tomorrow.... Ciao

Staying late in the office.....

Today I was at the office with another colleague till 11pm, crunching numbers and clearing backlog orders that we have in the order management pipeline. Yes, that's my new role when I joined back this company and frankly I'm not enjoying it...totally. I'm grateful to see my colleagues and I'm happy to be back to a MNC which is purely a MNC by nature, not just MNC by name. 

In this new role, we shared the same pain with sales folk, trying to hit month end, quarter end and financial end sales forecast but then, we are not on commission base, even if they hit their forecast target. We are just merely an operation folks who are helping them to achieve their goal. I know, I sounded negative tonight...but what's new?

This morning I had a tough time handling questions from the country MD. No matter what I do, to him it's not good enough or it's not fast enough. It's always not good enough. I knew for a fact the his job is to push people to get what he wants. i respect that and i don't blame him, tho I bitched about him all the time. The truth is, in my honest opinion, the one that i am pissed off would be our management team. i personally think that our management team did not helped us to set the right expectation to our business stakeholders, especially my manager's manager. In front of them, he smiled and agreed to all their request. At the back he told us to push back and managed our stakeholders. Hypocrite right?

Anyways, it's almost 12am now and I'm sitting down on the bed, writing this post while waiting for my hair to dry before I sleep. Deep down I am counting down the last remaining days in April because I'm really looking forward towards May when all ths quarter end craze is over. I'm still wondering how long will I stay in this job? One thing for sure, if my colleague resign, my letter of resignation would be next in the queue. I don't think I can manage this portfolio all by myself. Today, she is fronting and shielding all unnecessary bullets away from hitting me. Otherwise, I would have been long dead.

Guess time to sleep now. 7 more working nightmares to go....

Wish me luck...... 

Tough days ahead.....

Next week will be quarter end in my company's financial calendar. I can foresee difficult hours and days ahead of me. Even now, I'm starting to feel the intense stress and pressure that will soon hit me in just a couple days time.

It's almost 3 months now that I am in this new job and frankly I am still unable to stand on my own feet. Almost every other day, I will do silly mistakes or asked dumb and silly questions. Day by day, my self-confidence gets lower and lower. Certain days, I would just stared at my laptop screen with an empty mind. My brain just went dead and my whole body felt like paralyzed. Sign of nervous breakdown, I suppose......

Lately i have been asking myself this question - how long can I stay in this role? How far more will I allow myself to over stretch my limit? it is now 3 months in this job and I'm already considering to turn in my resignation letter and end this misery once and for all. But then, how would I know if the next job will not be worse than this one. At least for now, I have great colleagues and a manager who have full confident in whatever I do. 

*yawnnnnnn*

Oh well, let's see how far I can stretched myself....I'm gonna sleep now....

Wish me luck.... 

Productive Sunday....

Unlike any other regular Sunday, it was quite a productive day for me. I went for piano class, did some laundry, practice some new songs on the piano, went out for lunch and I brought Tezel to the "Pet Fiesta" at Setia City Convention Centre.....

It was pretty hot when we arrived there. The place was pretty crowded with pet lovers from all ages. Some were walking proudly with their big dog like Golden Retriever, Husky and etc. Others were carrying their little toy breed (I'm one of them) in and out of the hall. 

The moment we walked in, I have to say, Tezel does have his way of getting people's attention with his bubbly, excitable yet energetic personality. With his tiny short leg and his doll-like face, he would shamelessly rushed to any dog owner and get their attention. While he was busy mingling around with a Shih Tzu, I saw a family pushing a trolley with 4 adorable Yorkie, all dress up with pretty ribbon and cute dresses. 

I walked over to greet them and within minutes, we were chit chatting like we have known each other for ages. Guess that is what happen when you have common topics to talk about. We talked lots of stuff, like how groom Yorkie, what to feed these little picky eater and surprisingly we came to know that we both got our Yorkie from the same breeder. While we were busy chit chatting, I noticed many people were mesmerized with Tezel and his new found friends. They walked over to touch them and took lots of photos of them (yes....deep down, I was feeling sooooo proud....hoho). 

After saying bye to my new friend, we spent some time exploring the indoor exhibition hall which were filled with pet related products and services. I was so tempted to buy some new toys for Tezel but I stopped myself...eventually. I know for a fact that Tezel have way too many toys to play with, so it would be a waste if money if I get him any new ones. 

Once we were done with the indoor hall, we took Tezel out to the field for a walk. He was very VERY excited to see other dogs running around, chasing each other and playing catch with their owner. Looking at how happy Tezel was today, deep down I felt so happy and satisfied. 

We headed home and I gave Tezel a long warm bath, just to make sure there were no lice or ticks that got onto his body. While I am now typing this post, both Tezel and my partner were snoring their way thru dreamland. Tho it was a very tiring afternoon, I'm happy that I get to spend a quality day with Tezel and A (my partner)......

Gloomy Weekend....

It has been raining almost every day lately, but still we have insufficient water issue. Majority of the household within Klang valley are going thru "water rationing" exercise where we will have water supply for 2 days and the next 2 days without water....it made me wonder, how can there be insufficient water when the rain is pouring almost everyday for the past 2 weeks.... Pathetic right....

Oh well...I tend to be a bit emotional when it's raining. I'm not sure it's because of the gloominess of the sky that affects my mood or it's just purely me.... Anyways I decided to pen down some thoughts in my little blog which I have abandoned for a quite a "while".

A quick tour down memory lane, 3 major events happened from where I left out in my last post back in 2013:

- I managed to sell off my previous car and got a new hybrid car

- I quit my job after having a huge fight with my ex manager and decided to join back to my previous company

- I took up piano lesson right after Chinese New Year and got myself a digital piano to practice 

When I stepped into 2014, I told myself that I will try my best to make this year a good year for me. Well, for a start, I'm pretty happy with my new car and the fuel consumption. Instead of paying RM 80+ every week, I'm now paying RM 80 for every 2 weeks. *smiling* 

I'm also pretty proud of myself for having the courage to move my first step out of my comfort zone and signed up for piano classes. Within 2 months, I'm able to read basic musical notes and play simple song like "Jingle Bell"....with 2 hands.... Yay to myself and my music teacher for being so patience with me. You know who you are..... Lol

I think at this juncture, the only thing that is dragging me down is my job. I'm really having a very tough time trying to adapt to the nature of the job. I worked till 7 plus or 8 everyday and yet i'm not able to catch up on time. After 3 months, I'm still doing silly mistakes and I'm still as blur as sotong in my day to day task. I'm very dependent on my senior and my manager to get things moving. To make matter worse, this job requires me to proactively engage and reach out to people and convince them to change. This is so not my true nature. With all this combined, it is making me feel so incompetent and useless by the end of each day. I hate this feeling and it is hurting my self esteem and confidence pretty bad. I don't know why it's so difficult to get things right, perhaps this is way too out of my league. Before I started this job, I knew for a fact I'm not a good match for this role. But I was desperate to leave my previous job, so I decided to take up this challenge blindly. 3 months down the road, I'm questioning myself, why didn't I considered all the possible consequences before deciding.

Anyways, what was done cannot be undone now. I will just have to look forward and move on. I think I wanna go for a nice dessert to cheer myself up. Or maybe I will catch a movie since the rain has stopped. Or maybe I will stock up some junk food and watch some movies at home tonight. Till then......sayonara for now.....

I will be back for more whining sessions.... Lol. 

Stay tune...