Sigh....
All this started after I had my mid year review with my manager. After 30 mind of going thru my objectives and achievements, we went into an open topic discussion whereby I told him how I feel about my job. I told him I feel a bit demotivated because the team that I am supporting does not always get me involved in their game plan. I'm suppose to provide analysis and strategic analytics but how am I suppose to do that if I'm not sure what will be our end game? Most of the time, I'm doing random analysis which make sense to me but I'm sure it does not always make sense to them. Due to this disconnect engagement model that we have been operating on, I felt left out and I don't feel the sense of belonging.
We talked about a couple of other things as well, such as my heavy workload, i feel underpaid for the things i am doing and things other stuff along that line but, the main topic in that discussion was mainly about how demotivated I felt. I think my manager could sense that I'm in the verge of abandoning this ship, therefore he took me out for a drink, not knowing that a drink with me does not solve issues like any other straight guys would... Lol
Anyways, from there on, I sorta start hinting my circle of coworkers and past colleagues about my intention to look for another opportunity. My prayers were answered when one of my past colleague got promoted recently, told me she has openings in her team. She approached me with the offer and asked me to consider. I have to say, the first time she talked to me, I wasn't interested at all, hence I turned her down. But after a couple of persuasion and explaining the actual job scope, it sorta caught my interests. Hence I agree to give it a try.
I thought things will come easy but I was so wrong to think that way. After talking to her manager, he sort of doubt her judgement and asked her to pull in another peers of her to interview me as a neutral observer. Somehow deep down I knew that her manager have someone else in his mind to full this vacancy.
So my dilemma lies between this 2 options. Should I stay and continue doing my current work which is rather dry, aimless BUT stable, secure and more lay back environment OR... go ahead and try out the new opportunity which is more challenging, fast pace and I'm pretty positive that it will be more tense and stressful. Frankly I don't know. This is something I hate about making decision coz the first thing that I want to avoid is getting myself into a worse situation that I am currently in. But again, I bet everyone wants the same thing as well. Well instead of asking myself 'Is this a good move?', I should ask myself 'Do I want to change my current situation now?'. Coz if I do, I need to take up something new or take chances with other opportunities that comes my way. Otherwise, I will be exactly where I am currently for the next couple of months or maybe years....
Tough choice eh? Frankly I don't have the answer now... Hopefully after a short nap and a good shower will help me see things in a better perspective... ^_^
